"It takes only one drink to get me drunk.
The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
George Burns
That night.
That one damn night.
College is an experience unto itself. You meet people you'll know for the rest of your life, you'll prepare yourself to finally face the real world, and you'll do things society will undoubtedly frown on four years down the road. The people are cool, but the parties are what it's all about. Most of the time, you'll walk out of a party the same way you walked in, but sooner or later you're bound to do something that separates one party from the rest of the pack.
And that night.
That one damn night.
Well, that shit'll stick with ya.
So I'm sitting on the couch with my two best friends, Alex Mantel and Allan Oakes. We're already drunk and watching America's Best Dance Crew in Oakes' room in Gamma Chi Sigma. Alex has been dating this girl Prudence for a few months now. She's okay. Haven't really "met her" met her. But he seems cool with it, so it's cool with me. Oakes, however, is single, and probably looking to score with the ladies at the party tonight down at Epsilon Tau.
"Fuck it, let's just kick it here and drink."
Or not. Me? I've been single since the start of the year, and I wouldn't mind getting some action. Then again, my last two experiences down at Ep Tau weren't exactly nights to remember, so I'm fine hanging out here tonight. One o'clock.
"You know what, let's hit up Ep Tau." "Alright, let's go."
We stand up, trying hard to steady ourselves. We're concentrating hard, as if simply standing is a monumental feat. That should've been our warning sign. Right there. But instead, we're down half a bottle of Jack and half a bottle of SoCo apiece, stumbling our stupid asses to Ep Tau.
And that night.
That one damn night...
One fifteen, we get to the party. Immediately, we lose Oakes. All was going well until her. Mae Plantz. She tried to flirt with Alex, who appeared to be pretending she was invisible. She was... unattractive.
"How are you doin' tonight?"
...but I was too drunk to give a shit. "Pretty good, how 'bout you?" "Better now."
Okay, what happened next after she brought me into the dark corner, I'm not proud of. But it happened, and it's important, and two years later it gets me identified by face in this same darkened room, by someone who probably isn't even a student yet when this happens, so...
"Hey, come here." One thirty. Thank god for Heather, she saved me from a girl who was pretty much eating my face and brought me back over to my circle of friends.
"Hey you."
Shit.
The remainder of my time in the dark gets pretty graphic, and Alex and Heather disappeared around that point, so instead I'll just say this. The only way I could have gotten further with this girl, in a dark corner behind a subwoofer, would have required lying down or a stronger pair of arms.
One forty-five. "I should really get back to my friends." "Nah, you should stay here."
Two o'clock. Closing time. "Seriously though, I should get going, they're finishing up." "That's okay."
Two fifteen. Please black out, please black out, please black out...
"Hey, do you wanna come back to my place?" "You know, I gotta get up early tomorrow, for this... this thing..." "Promise you won't tell anyone anything bad about this later?"
...okay, in my defen"ROB!" "Shit, someone's calling me." "Oh okay, go ahead then."
Two thirty. Freedom. I have never run so hard or so fast in my life. I fly up the stairs, grab my coat, and get the fuck outside before she or anyone else can stop me. The first thought that hits me... where the fuck is everybody? So I call Oakes. No answer. So I call Alex.
"...hello?" "Hey, Alex!"
"...hello?" "...Alex? Where the hell are you?"
"I don't... I don't know." "What? Do you know where Oakes is?"
"I gotta go." "Wait, Alex!" click "...what the fuck?"
So now, drunk, lost, violated and confused, I stumble back to my apartment and resolve to sleep this night away and pretend it never happened.
But that night.
That one damn night.
It wasn't over yet.
continued in part two
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